“Okay, so: after a long week of journeying down the Long Road, and surviving ambushes by gnolls and even an owlbear, you are finally reaching your destination. Thagnor, you and the rest of your party are just arriving at the gates of Waterdeep. Ahead of you is–”

“Syntax error, Eric. My name is not Thagnor. It is Simon. You know this.”

Eric lowered his DM screen, a look of ill-concealed frustration on his freckled features. “Simon, we went through this earlier. You are playing Thagnor. We made him together. He’s your character.”

“Correct,” Simon quipped in that melodious voice of his. “But you keep addressing me as Thagnor. While I am controlling Thagnor through my words and descriptions, I am not him. I am Simon.The fact that this appears to confuse you is concerning.”

Eric let out an exasperated sigh. Normally he wouldn’t be doing this. Normally he, Liz, Jeremy and Aaron would all be continuing their campaign, either in the school library, or at Liz’s place, or here in his basement. They had already made a lot of progress: Aaron’s had been having a ton of fun playing as a heroic Fighter, Jeremy’s Rogue had been going through an interesting character arc where he was learning to trust people instead of just steal from them. And Liz…well, she had been itching to have her Wizard use some of her new level two spells on something. 

But the library had been closed ever since the librarian, Miss Mona, had disappeared; Aaron was sick, Jeremy had said he had to help his brother with something, and Liz….well, he didn’t want to do a session with just Liz. It would have felt awkward. Really, uncomfortably awkward.

So here he was, at home, trying to teach the family robot how to play Dungeons and Dragons. And so far, failing miserably.