So lately I’ve been trying to muster the energy to do more posts. I really have. Unfortunately, I just haven’t been able to muster the will, energy or wherewithal lately.
Part of the reason for this is that Ontario’s endless cycle of lockdown/not-on-lockdown/on-lockdown again is just exhausting to keep up with. Add in the usual isolation of living alone at home during said lockdown, and it’s really hard to motivate myself for…well….anything.
Another part of that reason is that, despite having more free time to myself…usually, after a day of working from home, and spending an hour or two cooking dinner, I simply have no physical or mental energy left. Some nights it’s hard to string a single sentence together, let alone write anything.
Lately, though, one of the main reasons is that my cat, Dexter, finally lost his ongoing battle against lymphoma last week. He was an old cat, and despite all the medications he was on, it was always going to be a rough fight for him, but I’d lying if I said that his death didn’t hurt immensely. I’m still adjusting now to living alone in a cat-less environment, and I honestly think this is the first thing I wrote since his death.
I guess also seasonal ennui has also been kind of getting to me. Anxiety about my present and future has been mounting up, and I’m no longer certain what I want to do with this blog, let alone my life. I guess for a while this blog may become upgraded to “soundboard for my daily aggravations, stresses and fears.”
I’m going to try to get back to writing, to hobby content, and to other stuff– hell, one thing I’m pushing myself to do is more GMing. But it looks like it’s something I’m going to have to fight myself to do.